We all feel that we are good/right! So, what is so exciting that compelled me to write about being “GOOD”?
Well, you can think it to be the only anchor that could sail you through, even after hitting the “iceberg” or can leave you bewildered and powerless after hitting it.
A Confused Baggage indeed!!
We need to understand that the way we relate to our lives it is contextual, having “carry over” effects from the past, which in the process, confuses our problem-solving skills. We have bottlenecks in relating to the problem in keeping with the present context. Every Individual would react differently (like my friends and me) to different situational demands. Similarly, the perception of the problem would also differ due to various experiences; each one of us has had. Every time we do something, we try to be excellent [“good” in the present context]at it.
“In general, that is what we try to be, whether it be an academic performance, getting social recognition, or even minor things like dealing with trivial uncertain situations. We try to achieve the best possible solution, unaware that the words ’Best, Good, Great, Excellent’ may add to our “confusing baggage,” making it further challenging to handle. “
Believe me! It was after analyzing the case below that I understood the rigmaroles of the word “GOOD” and the length it can travel to, in our lives and thus leave us pondering at different stations, gasping about which train to catch next to reach our destinations! Are your eyes wide open? Well, mine were.
I had a tough time understanding that a simple complaint can have so
much underneath.
The complaint of the 27-year-old boy was just
“not being able to concentrate on the thesis and thus making silly
mistakes”.
Undoubtedly though, in a collectivistic yet developing
society like that of India, academics is the most crucial parameter
to judge whether you are GOOD or BAD.
A boy having a record of excelling in school, college, and other activities made him develop the feeling of “I AM GOOD.” This boy going “tipsy — turvy” over the word “GOOD” appeared in my room: well — dressed, with a stylish pair of spectacles, the latest hairstyle ready to reveal aspects of his life situation which depicted a contradictory “self.”
To highlight some of the striking features of this boy, researching in a prestigious Institute, were arrogance, lack of assertiveness, emotional instability, poor self-esteem, decreased participation in activities, less
interaction with friends and reducing interest in academics.
These factors, together with the unintentional recoating voice of his parents of this stylish boy being great, slowly started paving the way for indisposed self — concept and, eventually, emotional instability. The very fear of not getting the self-assumed acceptance (as was the case in school and home) from people around made him arrogant.
His avoiding strategy for a loss was arrogance. His arrogance was the result of his attempts to fit in social roles to gain a “GOOD BOY” image as that made him feel accepted and wanted. “I AM GOOD” feeling that started from school saw its effects in the form of him thinking that as he is “good,” he needs to take up the responsibility of the family.
Next, he thought that he is better than his brother and so assumed that he would have to take up all the responsibility of his brother. Others being good was not unacceptable to him. The baggage of the “GOOD BOY” image was becoming heavier and heavier beyond the premises of the school, home, and old acquaintances.
New place, new people, “GOOD BOY” image needed to be carved out again amidst a new life event.
**Find out what happens next in the case, Click here. [The link will be enabled in a short while]
— The above article has been written by Mrs. Juliet Karmakar Mondal, Counsellor, Counselling Centre, IIT Kharagpur
